Bananas are evil

I don’t know what it is about these little yellow things, but, they do something to the minds of the human race when they go on sale. Case in point: bananas went on sale at my store for 19 cents a pound yesterday and people acted an ass as a result of all of this.

Here’s some examples:

  • 1. People, especially old people, like to stand 3 inches directly behind you so they can look over your shoulder while you stock the bananas. Why? Because they want to get the “best” bunch right as it comes out. As soon as they see that bunch they like, they cut through you, without saying “excuse me” or “pardon”, or anything else of that sort.
  • 2. People, especially middle aged women on their way home from work, like to cut in front of me when I’m stocking bananas. Something in their little minds tells them that the freshest bananas are in that particular spot that I’m working, nevermind there’s another 10 feet of bananas on each side of me. I had one lady in particular do this TWICE to me. Again, no “excuse me” or nothing. Not only is this rude, but, possibly dangerous. Why dangerous? Because I work fast and there’s a possibility of me elbowing someone right in the chops if they’re not careful.
  • 3. Another thing I’ve noticed is people that will search for the perfect bunch of bananas. I mean this to the point that they will pick a bunch up, check it for spots, see a spot, and put it down. They will repeat this process until they’ve found that one spotless bunch. Here’s a message to you anal retentive people that do this: God didn’t make you perfect, so, why would you ever expect a banana to be?

These are just a few of the things I have to put up with when bananas go on sale. During these times I just hope that one of them is poisoned for simply pulling the cheap crap that they do. I had one man ask me, “Why were the bananas 49 cents yesterday and 19 cents today?”. I looked at him with this look of what-the-fuck on my face and answered, “because they’re on sale today.”. Duh!!!

Then, there’s always the people that have to buy 5 bananas every time, so, they’ll take a bunch of 6 and rip one off. Again, these things are 19 cents a pound. They literally ripped off 3 cents.

Anyway, this has been my tirade for May 6th.

B.E.Z.

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~ by Steve L. on May 6, 2005.

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